Breaking generational curses.
This is a phrase we have seen trending on social media for quite some time. But, while this is surely a good concept to employ, how many of us actually understand what it means beyond trying to fit in with the latest trend?
Raising a daughter, I realise now more than ever the importance of breaking the cycle. But this is not without its challenges.
Over my short career, I have seen and heard things, written about things that most people could not even imagine.
For me, in my childhood, I lived a very sheltered life. Sheltered from the cruel realities of this world.
Well, for the most part.
Having been exposed to sexual violence in my teens, it was my resolve then that has me writing to relive an attempt instead of from the perspective of a victim. This resolve is the direct result of my parents’ strong values instilled in me.
The reality is that some generational curses are not our own.
In this modern society, we are taught to be independent women. To work on our own, live on our own and do things we need to do for ourselves. But, I would argue that we are raising daughters in this light amid a generation of men who are not ready to accept this.
While we cannot label all men in this same fashion, we see the impact of the age-old patriarchy and the subsequent toxic masculinity playing itself out in the countless instances of sexual assaults, gender-based violence and femicide so prominent in our country.
Just the other day, I was shocked to hear the words “that is not a woman’s place” – relating specifically to the lack of trust in a woman’s ability to do a job seen as only fit for men. I don’t want this to be a rant, but unfortunately, too many people are silent on the continuation of this cycle – raising boys to believe women should be “barefoot and pregnant” rather than contributing equally to the conversation.
In saying that, we cannot deny the impact of fatherless homes in this conversation. For the most part, boys lack good, strong male role models on how to be good men. Unfortunately, the good men are out there doing what they must, but this is overshadowed by a societal problem that does not seem to be addressed in any form. Iinstead of breaking that cycle, they often go on to repeat it over and over again.
Perspective is a powerful thing, and I fear not many understand that our traumas and past experiences are either perpetuating or creating generational curses.
Children are bent or broken in their early lives, and while I understand the immense pressures of life as a whole, I grew up with many adults who just firmly believed they could do and say as they pleased without consequence.
I remember how much marketing had been placed on the child abuse hotline when I was growing up – something we need to revisit now with that same intensity – but it had become a running joke among parents that they had been threatened with it by their children. But actually, the extremes to which some parents and grandparents went at that time, were nothing short of abuse. Being slapped across the face or with a shoe, belt or wooden spoon. And while some may be thinking it. . . No! This generation doesn’t need more of that to fix itself.
Some simply have to take accountability. The generational curses we have to break as a society are the products of other people. Through actions or teaching, let it end with us.
